It takes a village...

Special thanks to my mom's best friends who have remained faithful to us. Without each of your special help, guidance and support (for me and for her) through this experience we would never have made it. 

Sheila & Clint - my mom's friends of almost 50 years. Thanks for taking her every few months on weekends for nearly 3 years to make sure I had a break. Thanks for supporting me, for bringing Nick to see my mom, and always treating us as a priority in your lives. 

Carolyn - my mom's friend since high school. Thank you for having sleep overs when it was still possible. Thanks for taking her on a million walks, hundreds of coffees and making the time for her doctor appointments when I was in a pinch. Thanks for continuing to visit her and take her out - even though she tries to make a break for it. 

Barb & Glen - thanks for having my mom for breakfast every Sunday for more than a decade and continuing to do it through her illness (until it became impossible), EVEN when you had to pick her up and drop her off. Thanks for keeping an eye on me and including us in the family dinners.

Nick - my wonderful step-dad of nearly 37 years. I can't imagine our lives without you. Thanks for being so good to my mom (and me) for all these years. I love you.   

Denise in Toronto - Thanks for taking my calls in those first 6 months - even through you knew I was crying on the other end. Thanks for your compassion, knowing exactly what to say, and sharing the painful stories of your own journey of losing your father to ALS. 

Ivy - thanks for continuing to push me to get her to a doctor, and being gentle around the time of her diagnosis. 

Thanks to my Aunt Murna & Uncle Norm for taking my mom for two weeks (in year 2) which allowed me the time to clean out her house. Without your effort (and Kristina and Rachel's), I would have never been able do it. I know it was rough on you (I still feel guilty), but I am grateful for the time. 

Thanks to the peeps at my old office Nexon (especially Ryan, Kirby & Kim) who supported me during the time of the diagnosis. Thanks for listening to my stories, and making me feel like I had a safe place to go every day. Paula - thanks for supporting me from an HR perspective, and as a friend. 

Thanks Jacquie for coming over every Wednesday in year 1 for keeping my house as normal as possible. I loved Wednesdays at the time. As well, thanks for dropping everything for me the day my mom lost her drivers license. 

Coates - a million thanks for the time you looked after me, my mom and the household. We were lucky to have you in our lives. 

Thank you Kim & family for taking Molly when I needed a break. I am thrilled she's found a great home with your family. Although I miss her, she was always meant to be with you guys. 

Thank you Christa (& Justin) for your friendship over many years but especially the last few. Thanks for looking after my crazy house so I could take a holiday, for cooking for my mom every week, and managing the house perfectly. Christa, thanks for not being offended my mom was all over 'the cop'.  

Thanks to Julie & David (Justin's parents) for inviting my mom for dinners. Thanks for accepting her just the way she was - and not being mad when she dropped tomatoes in the cocktails. Your relaxed attitude about her odd behavior relaxed me. This was a gift.   

Thanks to Peej for getting me out of the house, or coming over when I didn't have the energy to leave - and always the bringing wine! Thanks for letting me off the hook if I cancelled, and sharing your nanny and practical advice. 

My Royal Roads University cohorts - Thanks to all 54 of you! I can't imagine how boring it must have been listening to me talk about Alzheimer's/Dementia in class and in residence...  I adore each of you and am grateful to have known all of you through the last two years. We have a cool cohort. 

Thanks to Char my stepsister (& Reg) for being great emotional support. As well, Char, thanks for making birthday dinners for my mom until we could no longer make the trip. Thanks for coming to her retirement party, and continuing to love her just as she is, and always including us as part of the family.

Thanks to Lisa for dropping your life in Calgary immediately after my mom moved in, flying to Vancouver (for 10 days) and managing my new life. House construction, a mom in the house, and a full-time job was too much to handle. I remember my list of a million "to do's", including a request for 100 pounds of green tomatoes (so I could get one last batch of her picked pickled green tomatoes). You did it - 100 pounds of green tomatos were delivered. Thanks. 

Thanks Kelly for being my greatest and newest friend (I was full-up on friends remember?). I can't imagine the past 2 years without you. Thanks for opening your heart to my mom, dancing with her in the living room and dropping everything (9 months pregnant) to be there on the worst day ever.  

Thanks to my friends around the world. Peung, Deany, Colleen, John and Jen M in Thailand. Wow, were we ever lucky to meet all of you. Thanks for supporting us in our move to a new country, and for being great friends to us while we were there. Thank you for telling me I was a good daughter and for being as kind as you were to my mom. 

Thanks to Maureen in Mongolia. For being a second mom to me, for teaching me to play Bridge, and for understanding how hard it must be. Thanks for coming over for my graduation celebration held in Ulaanbaatar when I could not make it to the official ceremony. My mom would have thanked you for being so good to me. 

Rachel - thanks for coming to meet us in Thailand. Thanks for dancing with my mom in the living room and looking after her when you woke before I did. Thanks in supporting me after such a big move. 

Barry - thank you for constantly fixing everything around the house that my mom damaged or broke. Thanks for always reminding me how lucky I am to have this time and tellin' me like it is. Thanks for taking care of my mom on Sunday nights so the nanny could go to church. And especially for not freaking out when she threw up on her plate at the restaurant.  

Jen & Kev - you guys are my structural support! Thanks for accepting whatever mood I might have been in - sad, happy, angry and everything in between. Jenny, my friend of 32 years - I am grateful you remember my mom's million dinner parties and how we were before her illness. Kev - best HIL ever, you're SO one of my bridesmaids...one day ;-). Would never have made it through this without either of you.   

Cindy - thanks for holding my hand during the hardest part of the whole ordeal. Thanks for helping me decorate her room, and not abandoning that day even though it was awful. Thanks for trying to have us for dinner, for letting my mom hold Max even though it made you nervous. Thanks for always answering the phone even though you knew you have a sobbing bunny on the other end. You have been a great friend though the last 4 years. 

Thanks to Rachel (the other Rachel) - best nanny in the world. How lucky we were to find you. Thanks for taking such good care of my mom each and every day for 3 years. I now forgive you for quitting THE DAY BEFORE Christmas! - but only just. Thanks for remembering my mom every year on her birthday and for still going to visit. 

Thanks to Kyle's family, Bruce, Hedy, Kari for supporting Kyle even though the situation was not ideal. Thanks for being patient, for really supporting me (us) through the journey, and for giving it to me straight when enough was enough. Thanks for always asking how she is (even though you get a long story) and making the effort to connect with her on Skype even when it's hard. Thanks for including me as a part of the family from the beginning, AND thanks for the Blue Bell ice cream ;-)

Thanks Kyle for being the most supportive partner in the world to a girlfriend whose mother has Dementia. Thanks for taking the time to talk politics, taking her for ice cream, and dancing with her every chance there was. Thanks for being so good to my mom in the year and a half that we were together when she was still in my care (then our care). Thanks for looking after me, feeding me, caring for me -  so I could care for her. Thanks for making her meals, for cutting her food into little pieces so she wouldn't choke, and then blending it. Thanks for never being offended when she didn't say thanks or left before she had finished. Thanks for making sure we were always home on time to let the nanny off. Thanks for taking a second priority while/when the needs of my mother took first. Thanks for never making me choose between you and my mom, and for being supportive in my decision to keep her with me until (as we discovered) it became impossible. Thank you for supporting every crazy idea I got - including moving to Thailand so I could keep her with me. Thanks for always reminding me of the positives (that she still knows who I am, and still tells me she loves me). Thanks for being a rational brain when I'm thinking from my heart. Thanks for holding me when I cry, never making me feel bad about it, and then making my favorite meal (tacos!) the days I'm down. Thanks for never making me feel like I should get on with it - or over it already. Thanks for listening to the same "Mom stories" over and over again. Thanks for always wanting to visit her and having tons of energy when you did. Your heart is as big as the world and we were lucky when you chose to share it with us.

Kristina, the only reason I was able to care for my mom, as long as I did is because of you - full stop. Your near daily emotional & practical support for 4 straight years is the biggest gift I have ever received. For a LIFETIME and more I am grateful. Thanks for putting up with the total craziness that surrounded our houses and for wholly honoring how my mother had treated you in the 10 years prior to her illness. Thanks for dropping everything you were doing 1000 times over to help me - when she went missing in the neighbourhood, picking her up, dropping her off, picking up prescriptions, food, supplies, the nanny, the carpenter, the dog... (the cat - ikes!). Thanks for running my house so I could take breaks. Thanks for helping me manage the practical aspects of everything. Thanks for organizing the "share the care" meeting. Thank you for always including my mom in every dinner we had, even when she spat up on her plate, broke dishes and messed up your house. Thanks always for the Brown Cow's she loved with YOUR Kalua…(until we figured out she wouldn't know the difference between that and chocolate syrup). Thanks for dropping everything on the "worst day ever" and cooking an impromptu BBQ for us even though you were exhausted. Thanks for coming over to my house every time I didn't want to leave and visiting my mom while I was in Mongolia. Thanks for warning me about things to come, and preparing me as best you could for what I could expect. Thanks for putting up with every-single-kind-of-mood a friend could have with a mother with Dementia and never once making me feel bad about it - even when I cried all night at your birthday party (sorry). Thanks for never putting pressure on me to go out when I didn't want to. Thanks for never expressing disappointment when I needed to go home or cancel because of my mom. Thanks for being there every step-of-the-way. What I ever did to deserve a friend like you…I don't know, we are very lucky to have had you be a part of this journey with us. Oh yeah, and thanks for not killing the cat...

Thanks for the patient Handy Dart Driver's of BC. Wow, your service impresses me. Thank you for always making sure she got in and out of the house safely, and for calling my cell when she could no longer remember the code to get in the door. 

Thanks to the Lions Den staff -  Denise, Monica and all the others working at the seniors center giving care givers a break. You took such good care of my mom those 3 joyous days a week when I knew she was safe and active. Thanks for organizing her bus rides and calling me when there was an issue. I appreciate the program so much I still live in fear the government would ever cut funding for this essential program. 

People - thanks for allowing me to be late or cancel, for understanding when I showed at your house hungry, without a bottle of wine, or I was too tired to help with the dishes. Thanks for understanding and not making a big deal of the gut wrenching emails I sent out - especially around the time of the "worst day ever". Thanks for being my friends regardless of how complicated and difficult it was at the time.  

You cannot endure this journey alone and I certainly did not.  I appreciate everything all of you have done for me, as does Pat.  A million thanks to all of you. 

Trish xx

Blog World Thanks: 

HUGE thanks to Jeff Hamilton who helped me get this site off the ground in the first place. Jeff has an amazing blog about living with ADD www.pillsdontteachskills.com. Thanks Jeff for "blog-mentoring me", for getting me and this site fired up and introducing me to the big-bad-blog world I still feel a little lost in.

Carlos - dude, you rocked it with your design! You have such talent; thanks for putting up with me and my 'crazy ideas'.  

Jaquie, thanks for your insights, encouragement and practical tips as well as your "future" insights ;-) 

Rachel, thanks for making fun of me and my spelling. You wouldn't be you if you didn't put my ass in it's place - every time. 

NBN, thanks for the edit Nicole! You made make me sound so good...BIG bottle of wine for you.