My mother has what?

The Doctor has just told me my mother has Dementia. I weep in her office and say, “you mean someday my mom won’t know who I am?” The Doctor takes a deep breath and tells me I’m getting ahead of myself.

My mom and I have the same amazing Doctor. But part of what makes her amazing is her frank and matter of fact delivery. This is a great skill, unless you’re the recipient of a Dementia diagnosis. Much too quickly and matter-of-factly the Doctor warns me about what to expect. “It’s a progressive disease...it will get worse,” and “we need to get her adequately medicated which might slow the onset.”

She tells me I should get a Power of Attorney signed immediately and consider putting her in a home. I'm thinking you’ve just told me my mother has Dementia and I’m supposed to think about a Power of Attorney and drive her around to potential residences? It is just too much for me to grasp. 

My mind is racing with thoughts...What does this mean for my mom? What does this mean for me? How will things change? What do I do? How do I live without my mother? Will my mother be at my future wedding?

I can’t believe she has Dementia - it was her biggest fear come true.

My poor mum. I’m heartbroken for us both. 

I leave the doctor's office, and for the first of many, many times in the months to come, I walk into my brand new beautiful (but tiny) house. I lay down on the new walnut floors (which still smell like glue), and I sob. My face puffy, my eyes red, I cry more. Molly & Jaz (the dog and cat) watch. Their compassion makes me cry harder, as even they know something is wrong.

I don’t want to live a day without my mum, let alone the rest of my life. How can this be happening? 

That night I stopped sleeping. 

It took 6 months and what felt like 200 doctors appointments to get an accurate diagnosis, and about a year to get her medication equalized. 

My mother has a Frontal Temporal and Alzheimer's diagnosis.

I will state here, the medications made a huge-huge difference in my mom almost immediately. If you suspect someone you love might have Alzheimer's/Dementia get an accurate diagnosis (or work towards one, they take time) immediately.