Welcome to My Crazy Mother!

Hi I'm Trish, the one in the cheap pink dress. The other lady is my mom Pat. A year and a half after this photo was taken my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia. From that moment on our world changed forever. 

It's been 4 years.

Through this journey I've experienced heartbreak, hilarity, and everything in between. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever survive, sometimes I am grateful.

In short - it's complicated. 

I'm sure this is my life's toughest journey - or gosh - it better be - I can't imagine anything worse! (well, I can - but let's not go there...).

Good things have come from this as well, like personal growth. I am more compassionate than I was before, and I understand loss. I now feel the pain of others who have lost or who are losing.

I'm also more patient. I no longer assume the driver in front of me, or the cashier taking her sweet time price checking a good, is being slow on purpose. Before I would have been irritated, but having experienced my mother's decline I see how easy it is to miss the signs of a brain malfunction. So, yeah, I'm more patient; by about a billion times. 

Until last year my mom lived with me and I managed all her care, activities, prescriptions, social engagements, and ran the household. In the last two years I also did a Masters Degree in Communications, but school, unlike work, was flexible so I could keep up with my mother's escalating needs. 

In short, it was worthwhile for a long time. I am so grateful to have had the chance to spend significant time with her. But eventually the progression of her disease crept up on us and I was depleted and exhausted.

I delayed placing her in a facility until I absolutely had no other choice. I even took drastic measures to keep her with me - like moving us to Thailand (another story). Eventually her care far exceeded what I could offer. Almost at burnout, my personal life unravelling, I placed her in a facility on July 8, 2011. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. 

In hindsight (always 20/20), I should have done it a year earlier but I wasn't ready to let go. Who is ever ready to let go of their mother? It was necessary for the progression of my career, my relationship, and my relationships in general. But I am a stubborn girl (like my mom) and I had to burn myself out first. 

I know this site isn't for everyone, I've made it because I want to reach out to others on the same ride. If you know anyone who is caring for a loved one - please send to me! Maybe I can share my insights, maybe I can help, provoke laughter at the insanity of it all, or maybe they have stories to share with me. 

The one thing I know for sure is: 

This is not a journey to be experienced alone - so, welcome to My Crazy Mother!

I hope to help in anyway I can. Ask questions in the forum. Email me. Sharing is caring; I look forward to hearing from you.