sex drive part II
My mother has given me a grocery list of the most extraordinary kind.
I look through the Yellow Pages looking for a company that is bonded, “Hi, this is a strange request, I'm calling on behalf of my mother, she would like a man.” “Oh sweetie” the woman says, “I get calls like this all the time...” And somehow, the woman at the male escort service has made me feel better.
I tell her I will call her back, I want to make sure this is really what my mom wants.
A few days later:
“I don’t want sex with a man I don't know,” my mom says.
Immediately I'm relieved. She has come to her senses, she knows it was a crazy idea. I feel a sense of happiness, my mother is back. She then says “I want a man who I can have coffee with, go to the movies, and have sex!”
My mother has just decided now the right time for a relationship and I’m supposed to find a man for her. Suddenly finding a sex partner seems much easier. People have sex for the sake of sex, or payment. How am I supposed to find a man who wants to take on a newly diagnosed woman with dementia? Impossible I say to myself. A few days later I decide I have to believe anything is possible.
I put an ad on Craig's List:
"Daughter looking for partner for her mother: someone to have coffee with, someone to go to the theater, do 'things' daughters shouldn’t know about. I also say, she has some memory loss."
In 24 hours I got 16 replies. Nearly all of them said "who doesn't have memory loss? One man in particular "John" I liked a lot. He seemed warm and genuine. After a few conversations I set up a date for my mom to meet John for ice cream.
After the date with John my mom and her driver met me downtown for lunch. I was very excited to hear how it had gone. I was sure she would like John, he was nice, and charming and into politics - just like she was. So, “how was it?” I asked her. “He’s too old for me!" What? He's 5 years older, she's 64-and she has dementia.
A few hours later I get a call from John, he enjoyed her company, she was beautiful and smart, he loved her enthusiastic personality, and he would love to see her again.
I cannot believe it. There was no changing her mind.
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